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long time no update [18 Nov 2006|06:21am]
well i havent updated in so long. life's going okay. same old stuff just a different day. I've been thinking and a lot has changed since last year, some for the good and other stuff just for the worse. It seems like a lot of the things that changed for the worse changed because i didn't want to face that there was a problem. I have begun to notice that i've become to nice and let everyone walk all over me. i've had it, it's so annoying. i hate the fact that i go out of my way, and people still find a way to skrew up or just let me down, and then they get all upset that i'm upset with them, what do they expect me to do jump up and down.. i dont think so.
work has become more and more like a death sentence. i hate going to work, honestly i get treated like i'm five years old. it's a little annoying and i can't stand it. its one thing for them to sign us in but telling them when we go to a different floor is out of hand.
highschool is going great. i mean come-on five classes what do i have to complain about. part of me never wants to leave because i hate change, but the other part of me just wants to leave. alright im done maybe ill write whenever.
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ugh school.. [12 Mar 2006|03:44am]
[ mood | confused ]

well. lets see i havent updated in forever. um. well school is good i guess, but i cant wait for this month to be over because everything is getting so crazy. i have not many quarterlies due the same week. and i leave everything to the last mintute so it just makes it worse. um. i started drivers ed. and thats going pretty good. drivings fun but the lecture part is so boring. its a snooze fest.lol. ive been hanging out a lot with meg, matty j, and cava. theres never a dull moment with those three. lol..me and erica are friends again its good. because well i dont know what i would do with out her. lol. works pretty good. work is work it hasnt been that busy so thats really good. i was supposed to play softball this year but my mom never signed me up so im not playing anymore. im really mad about that. and thats really about it. um. im gonna go do some homework i guess. update when i get a chance.

[ comments ]

[08 Aug 2005|11:39am]
[ mood | blah ]

wow i havent updated in awhile.. so lets see saturday was jess's sweet 16!!! it was really fun and i saw like everybody lol.. i missed them all..im such a loser.. so yea the dj was really good and played good music..um and thats about it.. sunday i went to pam's and we had a tony hawk date..lol and since i just started playing pam kicked my ass in that game..lol..then we ate dinner and such then went for a walk..then came home and went on the computer and watched tv then fell asleep..today im going to michelles so that should be funn..

next wekk my mom and dad are going on a cruise and not taking me or my sister :( so im staying at michelles for a week but then i cant see anyone at all for a whole week and that makes me sad.lol.. well it should be fun because she has all beach stuff planed for us and i love the beach so yea.. but then i have jen's sweet 16!! and i cant wait it should be funnn..okay well thats about it ill probably update when i get back next week. so later

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[22 Jul 2005|11:21pm]
okay..i havent updated in awhile so here it goes. ive been doing a lot of thinking lately about me and about who i really am. yea okay ill agree with some people out there maybe i wasnt acting like myself and i was acting like some other people but lately i realized that it wasnt me and who i was pretending to be was nearly like who i am. yea i kno everyone says im loud and stuff but im really not like that anymore. its just not me. and a lot of my options have changed about a lot of people. yea i still consider them my friends and yes they have been there for me through a lot and i would not change that more the world. but i guess as time goes my you change and the people around you change and you cant stop that. i guess its for the better. i mean i love the people im friends with but meeting new people is good though i cant always count on the same people to be there because they have other people in their lives as well. so i guess taking a break from hanging out with them was kinda good for me because i found who i really am and i like the new me. i hated the old me and junk like that.

so yea this summer has been pretty good.. i cant complain. ive been hanging out with michelle a lot and im glad we became good friends. we kinda drifted during the school year, and yea. i stared hanging out with pam and we became friends lol. she got me into nirvana..lol thanks pam.lol. well yea thats about it so ill update whenever.later
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[24 Jun 2005|10:56pm]
well lets see schools finally over!!!! YES!!! lol.

well lately ive been thinking a lot about friendsships and stuff. A lot of things have changed since the beginning of the year some for good and most for the worse. i guess. i lost a lot of good friendships with people. I wish i could go back and change those couple of months and stuff and just make everything better. because it really was stupid crap that we faught over. the way i acted towards them and not being there for them like i said i would be. and i hate that. i hate that i talked behind ones back and just made her feel terrible over something so stupid. i cant believe i would stoop that low and doing something like that. i guess i had to do those stupid things to realize what a big mistake i made. me and this person really wanna try and make this friendship work but its so hard to try and mend it when you know what they have said. and part of you wants to forgive them but the other part of you still hurts from what they have said. okay well enough with that.

i started talking to danielle today. and man i missed the old days me and her had so much fun together. always laughing there was never a dull moment with her.lol. all the inside jokes from 7th and 8th grade there was just so many great memories and yea. and i really want to get some of that friendship back because shes a great person and yea.

okay well i think im donw with this entry and yea. so i will write whenever.bye
[ 1 comment |comments ]

[13 Jun 2005|02:26pm]
[12 Jun 2005|08:02pm]

x. slept in your bed: me
x. saw you cry: myself?
x. made you cry: no one
x. you shared a drink with: dont remember
x. you went to the movies with: val,leo, n debbie
x. you went to the mall with: val, sam, joanna, karen, shiza, and jen
x. yelled at you: my mom
x. sent you an e-mail: donno dont check it


x. said "i love you" and meant it?: yes
x. gotten in a fight with your pet?: dont have one
x. been to california: no
x. been to hawaii: no
x. been to mexico: no
x. been to china: no
x. been to cuba: no
x. dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: yea
x. wish you were the opposite sex: sometimes.but then i think its better being a girl
x. had an imaginary friend: dont think so


x. do you have a crush on someone: i donno
x. what book are you reading now: the da vinci code
x. worst feeling in the world: someone dying
x. future son's name: dont know
x. future daughters name: not sure
x. do you sleep with a stuffed animal: i used to
x. what's under your bed: carpet and school books so i can study for regents
x. favorite sports to watch: baseball
x. siblings: alyssa--younger sister
x. location: downstairs/computer room
x. college plans: i want to go away
x. piercings/tatoos: have my ears pierced no tatoos
x. boyfriend/girlfriend: not at the moment


x. who is your best friend(s): i donno
x. what are you most scared of: spiders.I HATE BUGS
x. what clothes do you sleep in: shorts and a t shirt
x. where do you want to get married: dont know
x. do you drive: yup
x. do you have a job: yepp...SPLISH SPLASH!! i get to say SMILE FOR THE CAMERA
x. do you like being around people: yes
x. are you for world peace: sure y not


x. have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: yea...yup
x. have you ever cried over something the opposite sex did?: yea
x. do you have a "type" of person you always go after: not really
x. want someone you don't have right now: yea...
x. are you lonely right now: nope
x. song thats stuck in your head: idk...splish splash and im taking a bath lol people were singing it today lol
x. do you want to get married: definitly
x. do you want kids: yea sure later on in life


x. room in house: my room/computer room
x. type(s) of music: all types of rock, and ska
x. band(s): My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy
x. color: pink, black, blue
x. perfume or cologne: Lilu perfume and addidas, for guys..axe,and addidas moves
x. month: december, june, july, august
x. stone: my birthstone


x. cried: nope
x. bought something: yea for work
x. gotten sick: no
x. sang: HELL YEA!!!! lol i sang with val yesterday at splsih splash while making a fool out of myself on the surf board
x. wanted to tell someone you loved them: yes
x. met someone new: yepp at work
x. missed someone: yes
x. hugged someone: yes
x. kissed someone: no
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[08 Jun 2005|06:45pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

wow i havent updated in awhile so here it goes..

i hate the end of the school year. i really cant stand it. i have so much homework this year, finals, and 2 regents. which i hate. i hate teachers they dont assign you homework for the whole year and then the last week of school they give tons of homework. its like oh yes i have nothoing else better to do. like ms. inzalaco. shes a great teacher and i know she gives tons of homework for our own good so we will do well but now its just way to much. and i hate it. and science im really nervous about my earth science final tomorrow because he said its harder then the regents and im just really nervous because this final counts as 3 tests grades. eek. and i really dont want to take the earth science regents because i dont know if im going to do to well because im just not good at science ever since last year.thanks to mr. goldstein. and im not used to studying because i always got a B even if i failed everything that quarter. so yea. global im not that nervous about but i have doubts about it because i donno i have doubts about everything because i dont believe in anything i do only because then i would fail. so yea. this week is just so stressful and i cnat take it i dont want to babysitt any more i hate it this week i babysat everyday. its just to much rite now. tomorrow i have and interview at splish splash. so i hope i get that job because that will be something fun to do this summer i guess? i just wnat this week to be over because i dont even want to be in school anymore its the end of the year and i just dont care anymore!!! so thats it i guess ill write whenever.later.

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egh.boredd [29 May 2005|03:54pm]
[ mood | bored ]

this week has been good.lets see thursday i babsysat twice. oh so much fun.then at like 8ish i went to see star wars with val debbie n leo. it was okay. i probably would have liked it better if i saw the other ones. but oh well.

friday i hungout with tara and jen. that was fun since i havent hungout with then in a long time. we went to checkers like we do everytime we hangout lol. then we went to bath n body works n old navy n me n tara got hot pink flip flops. lol. then we were really thirsty and went to eckerds and got water. we saw cory there and we talked to him i havent seen him or talked to him in like a million years. lol so that was good. then we went to bobs and looked for sneakers but i didnt find ne. then we came back to my house and watched movies and crap.then i did jens hair. and it came out pretty and tara did hers and that came out pretty too. lol.

saturday i went to the beach with val n my mom n my sister. we had fun. except that i got really bad sunburn on my back and it hurts like a bitch. and we saw a really cute baby seal. and awww... i wanted to take it home and name it herbert. i like love that name. lol. and val wanted to name it bob and we were going to keep it in our pools. lol. then i came home and got ready athen phil came over and we went to debbies. that was fun.some great memories there. lol.

today i dont kno what im doing i might hangout with tara n jen later but im not that sure so yea.

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[20 May 2005|04:02pm]
wow i havent updated in awhile. 1st-science..got test back and i did horrible :(..then we finished a lab..woo how exciting. 2nd-gym. nothing really. 3rd.lunch went to the band room cause they had a free period. so i talked with jen and sean for most of the period. and god do we share some common interests.lol. we are all on the same PAGE about someone 4th- psat prep. its lonely and quiet without leo.lol. so i did nothing listened to my music. 5th- math took a quiz i dont think i did so well. 6th- spanish i cant stand this class and we took a test that must have been the hardest spanish test ive taken all year. lol 7th-child development we have a sub. so thats good and we watched a movie called gracies choice. its a really good movie i cant wait to finish it. lol 8th-english that was a fun period we were going to do a poem and out whole class got off topic when she said the word bird.lol everyone had a story about a bird lol. then we started talking about ghosts and stuff. lol 9th- social studies took practice regents and crap. and me and meg did our usual fooling around and then we were being serious and taking the practice regents and we were both stuck on this one question so we were trying to figuring it out by pointing and we disturbed him and he gave us -5 points. so i said i thonk its time for your nap but i dont think he herd me and then i turned to meg and she like CAN YOU SAY PMS!!! haha to funny. what happened to the funny marchase like back in the beginning of the year with STEP BACK MOTHER GOOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so yea i had to babysit when i got home but that was only for an hour so it wasnt that bad. then i called val n meg and im hangingout with them tonite so that should be fun. ill write whenever i guess later
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[10 May 2005|06:05pm]
well nothing has really happened since i last updated so yea. lol but ill start from monday

monday sschool and it was so hard to get up. lol. it felt like the whole day went by really slow tho. 7th was the best because theres this girl that i just really dont like and someone got her in troubble and it was just amazing. lol. then after school i had to babysit and i only babysat for an hour. so that wasnt so bad. and when i got home i wanted national treasure and that movie was great. i didnt think i was going to like it but i did. lol. then i ate dinner and i had to go to my sisters concert and it was a drag. i hated it. lol

today school was school. i actually learned something in social studies today. were studying for the regents and im happy becuase im actually learning. lol. then i came home and stuff and then i went to jess's. that was fun we played basketball and then baseball. and i caught the ball. lol. now im home and im gonna do a practice test for social studies and then im off to my sisters gay concert. so ill write tomorrow or w/e. byee
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[08 May 2005|07:14pm]
well this weekend has been good.

friday i played kickball with meg leo tonya val jimmy and alex. it was really fun. then meg and tonya left and me val n leo watched alex and jimmy fight that was funny. then jimmy left and me val leo and alex hungout. then we left alex's house and went back to val's and we watched holes and ate pizza. lol. me n val were talking about pre-school. and then all of the sudden leo says i was a rainbow. and i choked. that was funny. lol. then my mom picked me n leo up and we drove leo home.

saturday i had to wake up early becuase i had the breast cancer walk. i met up with leo jimson tonya cassie katie alexis kate and ali. and we all walked the whole 5 miles!!!! go us lol. then after the walk we walked to 7-11. then i came home and slept. then at 5ish leo came over and we hungout. leo left and i watched law and order and fell asleep. lol

today i had to wake up early too because i had to go out to breakfast for mothers day. then i came home and i watched friends and fell asleep until 2ish then i got up. and i was supposed to go to the movies with my mom grandma and sister but the movie was all sold out. so then we rented first daughter. that movie was so cute!! lol. then we ate dinner and now im here.

so yea today i was looking at my saved documents for something and i found a convo i saved from someone. and i just got me thinking things have really changed between me and this person and i really hate it. it makes me so mad becuase i blame all of this stuff on myself and make myself feel like a crappy person when really it was no ones fault. ive changed since last year and i hate it. this person that i was best friends with we really arent anymore and i miss that so much. well i think im done i just had to say that. so i guess ill write more later on in the week.
[ 4 comment |comments ]

[01 May 2005|04:36pm]
well i havent updated in awhile so here was my whole week.

sunday i came home from vals house and had to clean my room and stuff. then jess, jess, val, and debbie came over. that was fun. we took so many pictures lol.

monday- i had to babysitt and then i came home and did nothing lol then at 7 i went to jess's party. it was fun i hungout witha bunch of people. we attempted to play dare but that game never goes far it always stops on like the second person because no one ever knows what to dare someone to do. so yea. then we played manhunt. it was okay its was really just walk around the block and not find anyoen kinda thing lol.

tuesday- i hungout with michelle and we went up to the stores. i brought my mom a mothers day present. lol. then we came back to my house and sat around and stuff. then she went home then at 7 i went to the movies with meg, leo, val, tonya, ali, danielle, and andy. it was fun then leo val n meg came back to my house and we just hungout.

wednesday- i had to babysit again. lol. then at 11:30ish i went out to breakfast with leo meg val and debbie. that was fun. then i went back to leos and we watched the life of david gale. thats a good movie and we ate. then we went to debbies with meg.

thursday- i had to go to the dentist. (oh yay) then i went to sam's., we really didnt do much then i came home and ate dinner and went to megs and hungout there with people

friday- babysat. then at 3 hungout with tara leo meg n ali. we went to checkers and met this ass of a hole kid. lol.then went back to my house and played soccer after meg bugged us to go outside lol. and ive learned that soccer is a contact sport. lol

saturday- i went to megs then we went to church and i confessed my sins. then went to get our eyebrows done. then picked up leo and hung around megs. ate dinner and went to debbies and i hungout with them debbie and then ryan came.

today i didnt do anything but i might go to leos at 5ish.
and my moms being a bitch today and i cant stand here and ergh...
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[24 Apr 2005|01:48pm]
[ mood | happy ]

i havent updated in awhile so here it goes

friday i went to the fashion show with val and we saw falling out and strung on grey play. they were amazing lol in the middle of one of strung on greys songs all the guys from falling out came on stage and started singing. it was fun. lol

yesterday i had to babysitt and god these people piss me off. then i went to the movies with meg and her cousin and we saw lots of love (i think that was the name of it lol) then i came home and i had to clean my room and then my mom took me to vals house and me val jess and jess went to the mall. we ate first and then went shopping and god we took some amazing pictures lol i cant wait to get them developed lol then we all went back to vals and slept over we watched the all that marathone and that was so great. boy do i love that show but the old school verison lol then we watched spice world god that movie is great and then we fell asleep lol so yea.

today they are all coming over here and were just gonna hangout so ill write later

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bad day [19 Apr 2005|07:01pm]
[ mood | blank ]

today was such a bad day!!!!!!!!!!!
1st: science and we had a test i studied for three hours and still missed 14 questions oh. well we have tomorrow to finish. im so dumb in that class so im studying like every night now for it.ergh
2nd: gym that was okay we played ping-pong so that was fun
3rd: lunch did nothing so i left the cafe. and went to mrs. ross's room and did work (what a nerd) lol
4th: psat prep we watched a movie on the new SAT and how the writing is graded.. i fell asleep for some of the parts and for the rest i read night.(good book)
5th: math it was actually good i talked to phil and then we took a quiz i got a 91 but i made the dumbest mistake ever so i was mad
6th: spanish took a quiz i think i did good hopefully
7th: child development we played jump rope with the kids that was so much fun lol.
8th: well lets see before 8th i fell up the steps and bruised my leg and now it really hurts. and then we had the poem slam thing or whatever. some of the poems were just WOW!!!
9th: social studies i did my homework for the week!! go me lol

then i went home with jen after school. that was fun i hung out with jess sam n leo and of cousrse jen lol
me jess n jen watched the rocky horror picture show and then sam came and watched the rest of it. man that was a great movie. then we played basketball and boy do i suck. lol i just didnt feel like trying at all like i really didnt care and i dont kno why either im sure if i tried i wouyld have done well but whatever. came home and studied some more for science i actually kno a lot more than i thought i knew i just freeze up when i take tests. i hate that and then ate dinner. so ill write more later

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[13 Apr 2005|05:18pm]
[ mood | cold ]

well me and meg have been talking a lot lately about everything and all the things that i was confused about all make sense. me and her were talking about friends and how everything has changed. believe it or not a lot has changed since the beginning of the year i found that so odd. but anyway moving on it seems to me that a lot of the people that i was best friends with just dont care about the things that are important and it kind of seperates us in a way (i guess you could say)so it seems to me like me and those people have drifted. i donno and then theres always people that lie to you just because they dont think there good enough or something. but i dont get why people would do that it makes no sense why be embarassed to show the real u chances are that its better than the person your trying to be. and doing that just to be cool or whatever is overrated. i cant stand it. but thats about it and thanks meg lol

yesterday was the spanish honor society thing oh.god i thought it was going to be boring and crap but it really wasnt when a teacher was taking the attendence of people alli said oh man he has a nice butt everyone started to laugh. then the teacher left and shes liek oh. yea we will keep the nice butt ont he dl..hahaha so funny.then after that i got fruit punch.yummy.

today did nothing babysat when i got home and thats about it well ill write more later

[ 3 comment |comments ]

[12 Apr 2005|06:03pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

today was okay. lets see
1st. dont remember what i did
2nd. did another lab oh god it was easy. lol
3rd. lunch some interesting convos there
4th. psat prep did worksheets
5th. math did a worksheet
6th. spanish took a quiz
7th. child development. i hate this class now and people that are in it long story.
8th. english had a sub. did work
9th. social studies watched a movie and crap and got -3 because i came in late

after school took sam's bus home. we had icecream yummy. then jess n jen came over and we played vollyball me n jen vs. jess n sam. me n jen were the frankins haha lol we n jen won both games!!! then leo came over and we just sat around outside and wondered inside lol. then my mom came went to wallgreens then came home. showered straightend my hair ate dinner. and now im here waiting to go and get meg then off to the spanish honor society thing. oh. joy so write later

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[03 Apr 2005|04:06pm]
[ mood | tired ]

well im not grounded anymore which is good. i finally got the computer back. yesterday i went to ca's with meg and we did our spanish q.a. we had a fun time ca translated our script thing and meg and i drew the picture of all the fruit. and we watched raise your voice i love that movie lol. then sam came over and omg we had so much fun we listened to 50 cent and eminem and danced around my house. that was funny. i updated her i pod and stuff and just went on the computer and we ate peanut butter ice cream. yummy. lol then she left around 10ish and i watch this movie monster. it was okay.

today i woke up around 11ish and just sat around then my mom took me driving. i was so excited but when i started to drive she was driving me crazy and saying lauren do this and lauren do that. it was my first time and i did okay lol. and god i cant take any critism. i hate that about me.

well thats about it i will write more later on in the week. later

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[14 Mar 2005|09:18pm]
well i havent updated in awhile so ill start from friday. friday night i hungout iwth meg that was so much fun since we havent hungout fi awhile we ate pizza played ddr and watched friends.then saturday i hungout with michelle and we went up to the stores and i got flipflops.yay lol then when we were coming home michelle fell in the snow. omg it was so funny and then she fell again when she tried to get up haha funny stuff. then we came back and watched friends then she left then i finished watching friends then ate dinner and went to jens. i saw jess and she was leaving. (jess we have to hangout soon) lol. at jens i hungout with her and ca and we had a disney fest. oh fun lol. then i came home an slept.
[ comments ]

[09 Mar 2005|07:05pm]
[ mood | life sucks ]

well i havent updated in awhile.well let see last friday i hungout with a bunch of people and played manhunt and wow that game lasted a long time lol we were looking for ryan and jess for about and hour and a half lol. and then saturday i hungout with michelle then later that nite i hungout with sam and jen for sams birthday(HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM!!!) lol. okay moving on. well lets see monday was okay didnt do much or wait let me say that again i didnt do anything lol. tuesday same old crap and then it decided to snow o.joy

today we had a 2 hour delay which made me happy because i got to sleep late so thats always good lol but then we had 3rd perio off and that sucked because thats my only free period so yea. so we played vollyball in gym and im the captain of my team which i shouldnt be because all i do is talk to amanda lol and we talked about pacsun today (oh. how i love that store!!!!) and then psat prep. wow i actually like the english part probably because im good in english and i did really good on my essay 5 out of 6 lol and then the rest of the dsay sucked. im tired of people just being all like i own the world and crap it bugs me sorry people but the world doesnt revolve around you and you cant always get what you want it doesnt work that way so just get over yourself. i came home and wanted to go get sason 9 of friends so i asked my dad to take me and i got yelled at but i dont get why i never ask my parents for anything and if i do want it i buy it so i really dont get anyone. ugh i hate people sometimes. it was like a day like where it seemed like i did nothing rite and im just a fuck up and i cant take it anymore ive felt like this for awhile but i just hate saying anything becuase i hate people when thy feel sorry for you i just hate having all the attention it makes me feel odd dont ask lol. okay well im gonna go so i guess ill write tomorrow

okay and i kno some peoole might get offended of what i write in my journal but to be honest i really dont care its what i think and crap.

[ comments ]

[02 Mar 2005|07:28pm]
[ mood | cold ]

well yesterday sucked it was like everywhere i went something was wrong like nothing made me happy and i hate that feeling. i felt like i wasnt good enough and all that type of crap. and then when i got home i thought things would get better and they didnt. ergh. my sister and i started to fight over the computer so she threw all of my crap all over the floor and started hitting me so then i got pissed and yelled at her she went crying to my dad and i got in trouble and sent to my room. wow i cant believe thats still a punishment lol i love my room its the only place where i can actually think and be alone. sso yea i put in a disc of friends and just fell asleep. all i wanted to do yesterday was just cry it seemed like nothing would work out and yea. i talked to meg yesterday and at fist i was like this doesnt make sense and now all of the sudden it does. yea we really dont have anything in common but who cares lol. im just glad we worked everything out. (and meg if you ever need anyone to talk to im here for you). so yea then i decided to do my homework and all that good stuff. lol then i tried falling asleep but i didnt fall asleep to like 1ish.

today was much better then yesterday i wasnt gonna go to school today because i didnt feel good but i did anyway. im kimda glad i did in a way. i really didnt do anything today and yea. but in social studies he asked whos not here and meg said me and hes like whos me im lik eits meg but she changed her name to me and then im like wow it really would work you just would have forgot the g haha its stupid times like this that make me laugh lol. i went home and read some of my book for english then watched some friends then took a nap. i never took so many naps in my lifetime lol its coming to be my favorite thing now lol and then i had chinese food for dinner that was good and now im babysitting so yea i guess ill write more tomorrow. later

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